Now Where Did I Leave My Clothes?| Why I Write|

Where Did I Leave My Clothes? Why I write

by Cindi Silva on Monday, December 19, 2011 at 11:36am

I’m happiest when I write

It allows me to

Forget about my strict

Azorean Portuguese Blue Collar

Catholic upbringing

Until it reminds me of

My strict Azorean Portuguese Blue Collar

Catholic upbringing

I started exploring

The boundaries of how far

Writing could take me

Through my powerful


Stories and poems

As a young child

Lucky for me

I had a generous 2nd grade teacher

Mrs. Bowen

Who encouraged me to write!

It was freedom to say

Whatever I wanted to!

Be whatever I wanted to be!

Go wherever I wanted to go

In whatever way I wanted to

as long as my imagination

could get me there

I just hopped in through pencil & paper

In Junior High —

My children cringe when I say that

I probably should update myself to

Middle School —

Yet most of the time I don’t —

because that implies

There is no need for

formal education beyond  high school

the high school exit exam is given early

in high school testing students on everything

they’ve learned through middle school

this fact breaks my heart! —

Maybe that’s why “middle school” is only added to my

vocabulary on an as needed basis —

Like I was saying, dear Reader

In Junior High

It was a time of political upheaval

Much like today

Yet much different too

Many of the issues we were fighting for

Have definitely changed

They have worsened!

Many of the issues we are fighting for today

Have revisited the scene from

70 or more years ago

For awhile

I became the editor-in-chief of my

Junior High  newspaper

Notice I say for awhile

I loved Ms. Sampson,

whose jurisdiction it was under

I also wrote jokes

and an advice column

Mainly to fill in blank space

My jokes were corny

just like now

My advice were letters written by me

Answered by myself, a satire on Dear Abby

or Ann Landers — who?

And other popular advice columns

Of the time

Not a lot of my classmates

Were always particularly

Interested in wasting their time

filling blank space

It was in the media classroom

That I first exercised

My political activist voice

Although I had really been using

it regularly as a featured guest feminist

In my own blue collar

although democratic

somewhat conservative home

It didn’t go over very well there either

Yet it didn’t stop me

From experimenting

With seeing just how LOUD I COULD GET

I remember writing an article

On the Vietnam War

Which Ms. Sampson

Made very minor edits to

She told me she loved it!

She also told me it was

Very controversial

Something I didn’t fully comprehend

the meaning of quite yet

Had I, I probably would have made a copy of it

Ms. Sampson gave my paper

Back to me for any last minute edits

That I wanted to make

I remember I did make some

In fact I made it more controversial

Looking back on it

That probably wasn’t what she meant

I still remember using the term

“political football’

when referring to the Vietnam war

Something I went into great detail


I guess you can guess that

When I was called in to see

The Principal

He wasn’t calling me in to shake my hand

And tell me what a great piece I had written

Although maybe he did unintentionally

He told me, blah blah blah

Translated for your ears

Seriously I don’t remember The exact conversation

I so remember this

He wasn’t too impressed

with my article

He told me I couldn’t print it

I asked for it back

He ripped it up in front of me!

Looking back on it now

that was the best thing he could have done!

I wish I could thank him!

I guess he just wanted to see

Who this outspoken

Anti-war protester growing up

In a predominantly white

conservative School District was

He probably was surprised

To see a shy, quiet demeanored

Shakily confident teenager walk in

Already developing a LOUD and somewhat STRONG VOICE

I then knew the power of writing

Was so much more than I could ever have hoped for

I knew then that it was a way to use your voice

It seemed better than the creative writing

and poetry I had been doing before

Words are so powerful

Be careful how you use them

We are warned as children

Once spoken you can’t retrieve them

They can do irreparable harm

We see that every day

Relationships are started

Or ended from words

Trust is built or broken by words

and once broken good luck getting trust back

(You don’t have to agree, dear, Reader —

I only want to give you something to think about)

Words can cut you down to size

Or build you up

Give you hope

Unite us

Tear us apart

Your words can hurt you

Be twisted around

and be turned on you

“Anything you say may be used against you

in a court of law”

Lawyers, police rely on your words to hang you!

Words can be volcanic thought vomit

Spewing out sentences of volcanic rage

Misdirected at the nearest victim

Or anxiety producing thought vomit

Keeping you a prisoner of war

If only in your own mind

The worst place of all until you discover through


your key to freedom!

(My Mom used to tell me as a kid

“Bite your tongue” Did your Mom

ever tell you that, dear, Reader?

I guess Mom had  her own prior experience

knowing just how effective words can be!

Words can paint beautiful pictures

for us to transport us to a different

Place or time

Without ever having to leave

the comfort of our own home

I’d much rather read the same story

Than see it at the movies

I know I can depend on the writer’s words

Coupled with my imagination

To seduce me and otherwise

take me there, wherever there might be!

Written words combined with a picture

or a song

Make marketers convince you

That you would be better

off if you bought this

product instead of that one

I wear my heart on my sleeve

Is that why I write?

I have so much to say

I have nothing to say

Sometimes I only report what I see

and hope that it will raise your Awareness

I am a lover of all humanity

I am a lover of nature

I want to lessen the suffering I see

by commenting on the social injustice

again to raise your Awareness

When I write

I am an activist

I am your eyes, your ears, your voice

I am my own as well

I also want to make you laugh

I know I want to make you think

I’m probably going to make

some of you cry — unintentionally

I only want to raise your Awareness

And yet I feel so naked

When I write

I am exposing you to

The very heart and soul

Of the very core and essence of me — somewhat filtered by me

Everything I really think and see

Even when I’m being funny

Definitely when I’m being serious

Each time I write I am playing strip poker

Taking off one piece of clothing at a time

For you, dear, Reader,

With every sentence that is really

The very essence of my soul

Sometimes I strip down so quickly I don’t even realize

My clothes are already off

I am just caught up in the moment of

Trying to seduce you with my passion

My heart, my soul,

I’ve given you a long look into

a part of who I really am

a writer

and what I truly believe

or at least think I truly believe at the time

of the write

And it just happens

I didn’t mean to get so raw, so real

So naked so uninhibited

And then it’s too late . . .

I notice I’m bare, exposed, so naked

I gave it up to you, dear, Reader,

my all, and I feel almost spent

and a little worried if I’ve never written about it before —

What will my, dear, Reader think of me now?

What do I think of me now?

I can’t take it back

It’s too late

Do I want to take it back?

Is this something really worth sharing?

How many people did I unintentionally offend?

More importantly did I raise Awareness!

If I think the answer is yes to the last question, I raised Awareness

I let it go . . .

Other times when I write

I knowingly want to seduce you

I invite you in

So I can talk to you about

Whatever it is that is going on

In the world around us

This won’t take too long

Just have a drink

Read a little bit more

So I can continue to tell you what I really think

Take off your coat

There is more I want to share with you

Stringing words to sentences

Paragraph after paragraph

The sentences are pieces of my clothing

I dangle in front of you like a stripper dangles her clothes

and with my words I seductively dance

and fling more and more of my clothing across the page

As I intentionally try to keep your attention

Which I probably have by now

and hope that your Awareness will be raised!

Before long I am naked

My written art of seduction

has worked!

I now have worked my way into your mind

and been given the chance to possiblly

raise your Awareness

This time although still naked, I glow

The difference is this time it was intentional

Dear Reader,

With so many wonderfully

talented activist poets and writers

out there

our only hope is to keep

encouraging our children

to love to read and write

literacy gives our children a chance for Awareness

Activism improves our chance for change

Now where did I leave my clothes?

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2 Responses to Now Where Did I Leave My Clothes?| Why I Write|

  1. debbiebrooks37 says:

    Cindi, I am with you.. I love to read and write.. this is a great blog..You are an awesome writer.. It is evident you like to write..Hope you found your clothes…lol
    Merry Christmas Cindi

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